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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26821270">Year 4, the train wreck</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witchy404/pseuds/Witchy404'>Witchy404</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Abusive Lucius Malfoy, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Attempted Suicide, Blaise is kind of a jerk, Crushes to friends to lovers, Depressed Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy &amp; Pansy Parkinson Friendship, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, I will put tw on chapters that need them, Indian Harry Potter, Indian Potter Family (Harry Potter), Lesbian Pansy Parkinson, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PLEASE READ THE TAGS TW, Panic Attacks, Ron is Ace, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Stress, death eater pressure, first day of year 4, mentions of abuse, pan hermione granger, pansy and draco are almost forced to get the dark mark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:14:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,474</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26821270</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witchy404/pseuds/Witchy404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As they're about to get on the train, the Slytherin trio spots the golden trio and hurries to getaway. They talked about them over the summer, about their crushes that they had to keep secret, and how they needed to get away from their families. But, that soon changes when Draco and Pansy are forced to get the dark mark.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Train Ride</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! This is my first fanfic, so don't expect too much! Sorry if it sucks!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Draco and Blaise walked towards the train, waiting to get on.</p><p>“We better hurry, it looks like it will rain any second,” Blaise remarked, staring worriedly at the sky. The clouds were dark, with occasional ripples of thunder slipping out. </p><p>“Blaise, we have to wait for Pansy. She’ll be here in a minute.” Draco remarked, looking at his watch, which was black with shiny, gold hands. A few minutes later, Pansy showed up, her lips painted plum, matching her nail polish. </p><p>“Hey,” she said as a flash of lightning brightened the sky, causing her to look up. She was happy to see her friends, but noticed something off with Draco. “Are you okay, Draco?” questioned Pansy, hoping to get something other than “I’m fine”</p><p>“I’m perfectly fine, Pansy. Now we should get onto the train, we want to find an empty compartment.”</p><p>Pansy wanted to say something more but decided to let it be. She was just about to get onto the train when someone caught her eye. Her heart gave a flutter as Granger caught her eye. She could feel herself blushing, and quickly turned away. She boarded the train and caught up with her friends.</p><p>“Are you blushing, Pans?” Blaise said with a smirk.</p><p>“Shut up,” she replied, receiving a laugh. They found their compartment and sat down.</p><p>“So, who made you blush?” Blaise prodded, raising his eyebrow. Pansy sighed, this was going to be a long train ride.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Argument</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Right before the train takes off, the golden trio walks past, earning a stare from the Slytherins. They didn't take well to that.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Draco and Blaise both were now prodding at Pansy, trying to get her to tell them why she had been blushing. </p><p>“Fine, I caught Granger’s eye. She’s really cu-” She cut herself off as the “golden trio” walked by. The three Slytherins stared, each at a different person. Hermione paused, and the two boys with her stopped a few steps away, once they realized she wasn’t walking with them.</p><p>“What were you saying, Parkinson?” She raised her brows and smirked, leaning towards her.</p><p>“No-nothing,” she replied quickly, looking away.</p><p>“You sure?” She leaned closer and began to chuckle. This has to be a trick Pansy thought to herself, not willing to look at her.</p><p>“I’m sure, now leave before I hex you.” Her tone changed when she said that, sounding like she was choking out the words. Granger left, and she heard laughing in the distance. Although she left, her two companions stayed.</p><p>“Oi, what’re you trying to pull?!” Ron almost yelled. The anger in his face almost matching the color of his hair. Harry stood a little bit behind him, silently watching, but braced to pull his friend away if needed. </p><p>“Well, what do you think?” Draco said, quickly going to the defense of his friend. Ron turned his gaze to him.</p><p>“I’m talking to you too, prat! Don’t think I don’t notice you staring at Harry constantly, always plotting something!” Ron snapped back, taking Draco by surprise. He blushed, glanced at Harry, looking him up and down, then turned back to the Weasley. </p><p>“Look, we aren’t planning anything! Maybe if you took you’re head out of you’re biased ass, you would see that!” Draco yelled, taking everyone aback. Ron looked like he had been slapped. Harry started to laugh.</p><p>“I’m sorry about him, have a good day guys. See you at Hogwarts!” He looked over Draco, winked, and pulled his friend away. Draco almost completely shut down, his mouth hanging open and his cheeks a dark crimson. His cheerful manner made Pansy feel somewhat bad about the snide remarks they had always said behind their back, and the rude things they’ve said to their face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! Author here! I hope you're liking this! Idk how many more chapters I'll put up today, I'm on a long trip so it could be quite a few! Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3: Summer Talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After an argument breaks out between the trio, Draco escapes to the bathroom.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a few moments, they began talking again. </p>
<p>“So, how was your summer,” Pansy asked the boys. </p>
<p>“It was great. I stayed at home all day, practiced quidditch, read, and finished my schoolwork the first week.” Blaise said, about to start rambling. Pansy knew him so well that she diverted the question to Draco. </p>
<p>“How about you, Draco?” Pansy asked.</p>
<p>“It was… fine.” He replied, pausing in between, like he was about to say something else, but decided against it. She wanted to make sure he was fine, so she asked him what he was going to say.</p>
<p>“It’s nothing.” He said, starting to get defensive. He scratched his neck, his shirt inching down towards his shoulder. That’s when she saw them. Bruises. There were many, with cuts, slashes, and burns mixed in. Her eyes started to widen, but she tried to keep them steady. She knew he realized she saw them because he immediately pulled his shirt up and adjusted the collar. </p>
<p>“Draco, what was that?!” Blaise whispered, just audible to the three of them. </p>
<p>“Nothing.”	<br/>“It’s obviously not nothing, some of those cuts are deep.” 	<br/>“I said it’s nothing! Can we just drop the subject!” Draco got up after he said that, muttered something about going to the bathroom, and stormed off. Pansy and Blaise looked at each other blankly. </p>
<p>“What was that about?” Blaise was confused about the sudden outburst from Draco. He had never done that before, or if he had, Blaise forgot about it. </p>
<p>“We pushed him too far. I think we should drop it for now.” While Pansy was also confused, but she knew her friend well, and knew when to drop a topic. Today though, she wasn’t paying full attention, and accidentally let the conversation go too far. Pansy and Blaise started talking about the weather, a mere distraction from their friend who was nowhere to be found.</p>
<p>〜<br/>Draco was locked in the train compartments bathroom. He examined his neck and shoulder carefully. He could see why his friends were concerned, but his father had gone easy on him. He didn’t want the beating to be too noticeable, so he took it a bit easy on Draco. Given, it was still a harsh beating, but Draco had deserved it. He had been making dinner, but he burnt some of it. This had made his father angry, and after dinner, he had been punished. </p>
<p>Draco held back the tears that were starting to form. He didn’t want to cry. He always had a nagging fear that his father was watching, somehow. He turned on the sink, splashed his face a couple of times, and sat down on the bathroom floor. For a train, the bathroom was very clean. The floor was spotless and shimmering. </p>
<p>Draco didn’t notice.</p>
<p>He put his head against his knees and closed his eyes. Not for long, though, as memories of beatings danced on his eyelids. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. Besides, he thought, nobody can see me. He let everything out. The beatings, the torture, the saddened looks from his mother, the recent events at the Manor. He loosened his tie, for it felt too tight against his neck. He was exhausted, and almost let his eyes close.</p>
<p>Then he heard a knock.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After an awkward encounter by the bathroom, Draco is left with many questions. Then the golden trio and his friends learn a dark secret that Draco has been hiding.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Just a minute!” Draco called in his best tone of voice. He tried his best to disguise the fact that he had been crying, but a few voice cracks slipped through his mask. He quickly washed his face and looked in the mirror to check his face. It didn’t look like he was crying. He took a deep breath and unlocked the door.</p><p>‘Low and behold, standing there was Harry Potter, looking a bit shaky. Great, thought Draco, I’ll have to get questioned by Harry. Then he noticed something. Harry was shaking rather violently, and looked panicked. Draco knew that look all too well from his time at Malfoy Manor. Although Harry was supposed to be his enemy, he couldn’t stand someone else feeling like he did. Draco put his hands on Harry’s shoulders, attempting to steady him. Harry looked up at him, a mix of fear and pain in his eyes. “Harry, you’re okay. Breathe, it’s alright.” Draco was trying to use all of the tricks his mother used to comfort him after a beating. Harry started to calm down, but the panic still lingered.</p><p>“Why are you being nice to me, Malfoy?” Harry’s tone was harsh when he spoke his name, causing Draco to flinch. He could tell that Harry instantly regretted his tone, and looked like he was searching his brain for something to say. Harry started to say something, but Weasley turned the corner, much to Draco’s disappointment, and interrupted the conversation.</p><p>“Get your hands off of him, ferret!” Weasley yelled. It was obvious he was angry, his face almost matched the color of his hair. “What is going on here Harry? You just stormed off! It’s not that hard to talk to your friends y’know. Instead of running off.” With that, the Weasly left extremely pissed. Harry looked as if he were about to cry, but that quickly went away, and his face turned to the blankness that Draco had perfected years before. </p><p>Draco wanted to ask him about it, but the brunette simply muttered something about changing into his robes and went into the bathroom. He stood there for a second, trying to process what had happened. He had so many questions from an encounter that lasted mere minutes. He slowly went back to the compartment his friends were in, grabbed his robes, and went to change in the now vacant bathroom.</p><p>〜<br/>The train came to a stop, and the kids filed out of their compartments. Draco walked quickly, intentionally leaving his friends in the dust. Unfortunately for him, Pansy was fast and determined. She caught up with him as he was exiting the train. He ignored her as best he could, which became easy about halfway to the carriages when the golden trio walked towards him. Well, it was really just Ron with Hermione behind him, ready to pull the Weasley away if he tried to start a fight. </p><p>“Oi! Malfoy! You listen here! Stay away from Harry and if I so much as see-” Before he could finish his sentence, Draco interrupted him. </p><p> I’m sorry, but I could care less about your “protection” speech, so I will be on my way” As he started walking off, Weasley grabbed his arm and pulled, causing his sleeve to go up. His hand didn’t stay for long, though, as he noticed the cuts on his arm. He wasn’t the only one who had noticed. All five of the people around him were staring at his arm, which still has some cuts bleeding, as those had been made as Draco was putting his robes on. His eyes immediately went to Harry, who was staring at him with a mixture of sympathy and understanding in his eyes. Draco noticed that he pulled the sleeve of his left arm down and rubbed it a bit.</p><p>Everything was a haze as Draco pulled down his sleeve and took off as fast as he could and got into a carriage by himself. The carriage started, and he saw Pansy and Blaise attempting to catch up, but giving up and getting into the last carriage with the golden trio. It would be another hour before the carriage made it to the castle, so Draco simply closed his eyes, and let himself go to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5: The Attempt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: SUICiDE, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL ABUSE please scroll to the end if you don't want to read this</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Draco woke up to a strong gust of wind blowing into his face. He looked outside and saw the castle in view. He ignored the urge to go back to sleep, as they would be stopping soon. His mind was still racing with the events that had happened today. He didn’t want to see his friends, fearing how they would react. What if they hate me? What if they never want to talk to me again. Draco tried his best to shut his mind off, but to no avail. He inched his sleeve up, the red cuts standing out against his pale skin. </p><p>This was going to be a long year.</p><p>〜<br/>The five children were still stunned. None of them knew how to react. Pansy noticed that the Granger girl was looking very worried.</p><p>“Granger, why are you so worried? It’s not like you care about him anyway.” As pansy said this, Granger just stared at her. Anger mixed with the worry in her face, and when she spoke, her tone was bitter.</p><p>“I’m not the one who stormed into the carriage. I just hope that Ma- Draco didn’t see you. You really overreacted. I’m just worried about what he’ll do now that we’ve found out. And, for the record, I do care about him. Sometimes, he can be quite funny.”  Pansy was a bit taken back. She had called him Draco, and actually thought about things. Pansy had to agree with her. She too was worried about Draco. Although she didn’t say this, just nodded as she felt heat go to her cheeks. </p><p>Her embarrassment was short-lived though, as the carriage came to a stop. She jumped out, hoping to catch Draco. Hermione- no, Granger- came right after her, holding her wand in her hand. She looked behind her and saw the three boys hurrying to match their pace. If she wasn’t worried so much about Draco, she would have told the “golden” trio to leave, but it was obvious the only one who didn’t want to be there was the weasel, who was muttering complaints. Potter soon shut him up though, his face also full of worry. Pansy found this odd, aren’t we supposed to be enemies?” she thought. Although she didn’t ponder this for long, as she saw the blond hair, grown out to his shoulders, tucked under a beanie. She was too caught up in getting to him to wonder where he got the beanie from, so she quickly motioned the group to follow her. Her excitement of finding him was gone when she realized he had slipped away, blending into the crowd. This didn’t stop her though, she stormed into the Great Hall with the other four, only becoming both disappointed and even more worried when she couldn’t see him at the Slytherin table. She and Blaise uttered thanks and goodbye to the trio, and they split off and sat at their respective tables, and waited for the feast to commence.</p><p>〜<br/>Draco had hurried as quickly as he could to the Slytherin dormitories, careful to avoid the group that was obviously searching for him. Although he had wondered what the golden trio had been doing searching for him, he didn’t focus on this. Draco didn’t have the appetite to eat anyway, so he decided to take a shower. He had just put his robe over his regular clothes, so he left the robe out on his bed. As he was searching for his pajamas, his razor blade caught his eye. He took that out, found his pajamas, and locked the bathroom door behind him. He knew that the word would spread quickly of his cuts, and wondered about ending it all. His father wouldn’t care, he’d just say how disappointed he was and move on.</p><p>Then he thought about his mother. Would she care? He hoped she would, but he doubted it. He turned the water on, and took his blade. All it would take is one cut he thought, and lifted the blade. He didn’t think that anyone would care about his death, they were all busy. He put the blade to his arm, and sliced.</p><p>〜<br/>Harry was overcome with worry. Draco hadn’t shown up to the feast, so after the speech, he asked Pansy if she would come look for him. Pansy agreed, and told Blaise to come along as well. Harry had been thinking throughout the speech and had an idea as to where Draco was.</p><p>“We should try the Slytherin dorms.” Pansy and Blaise agreed and they got there as quickly as possible. Pansy helped Harry in, and they took off through the empty common room to Draco and Blaise’s dorm. They heard the sound of running water, which only worried them further. They heard something that sounded like “Help, please.” It sounded like Draco. Harry tried to open the door, it was locked. “Alohomora!” Harry practically screamed. Pansy tried the door this time, it opened. She screamed.</p><p>Time seemed to slow. Harry saw him. His arm was covered in blood. Harry knew a spell for this. Hermione had taught him it. Goddammit what's the spell Harry was panicking. He felt tears on his cheeks. He racked his brain for the spell. He got it “Vulnera Sanentur,” He managed to choke out. He watched as the wound started to seal. Draco groaned, and blinked his eyes. It took him a second to realize what was going on, but when he saw Harry he sat up. Harry was so glad that he was alive, he couldn’t imagine not having this boy in his life. This blond git that he had a crush on since second year. As Draco started stammering, Harry knelt down and hugged him. He could still hear Pansy crying, and looked behind him to see Blaise frozen in place, still taking in what was happening. Draco was shaking, but he hugged him back. It didn’t last long though, once he realized who it was he shoved Harry off. He looked at his arm, then back at Harry. To Harry’s surprise, he started crying.</p><p>〜<br/>Draco had regretted what he did as soon as the blade sliced. He felt an excruciating pain in his arm, and with horror realized that he had left his wand on his bed. He was doomed. He yelled for someone, but no one answered. They were all at the feast. He was going to die, and he was terrified. He didn’t give up though, he kept yelling. But as he kept bleeding, his voice got quieter and quieter, until he was so weak that all he could manage was a small “Help, please.” He thought of his mother, his poor mother. She would be devastated. And Pansy, she loved him like a brother. Blaise would go back to his bad habits, and Draco would be responsible. He had helped Blaie get over drinking, and helped him get better coping mechanisms. Blaise, like him, had a bad family and didn’t want to be in this war. He started drinking to avoid it. Now, with Draco gone, his friends would be devastated, and Blaise would kill himself from drinking so much alcohol.</p><p>He was about to accept his death, when he heard the doorknob rattle. As everything went black, he heard a familiar voice scream “Alohomora!”</p><p>He heard crying, was he dead? He opened his eyes, flinching at the bright light. He wasn’t dead, he was still in his bathroom. He finally got his eyes adjusted to the light, and looked around. He saw Pansy sobbing, and felt someone hug him. He was terrified, still shaking from what he had just done, and hugged back. He didn’t think anything of it until he saw the familiar jet black hair, ruffled and messy. It was Potter. He shoved him back as best he could, but it was weak, as his arm jolted in pain.</p><p>His arm.</p><p>He looked at it, it was sealed up, He then quickly looked at the floor, and all the blood. He then looked at Potter, realizing that he was the one who healed his arm. Blaise was frozen in the doorway, and Pansy was sobbing. Besides, neither of them had their wand, and didn’t know a spell that would do that. Potter, on the other hand, had his wand up. He stared at him for a second, and then did something his father would beat him senseless for, he started crying.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Rundown of the chapter if you skipped it due to the trigger warning: Dracotries to commit suicide, but regrets it. He almost dies, terrified, but Blaise, Pansy, and Harry find him. Harry heals him.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: ALCOHOL ABUSE, YELLING, PANIC ATTACK please skip this chapter if you are susceptible to any of these triggers.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The three had gotten Draco to calm down, and had gotten him sat down on his bed. Blaise was still speechless. It had taken him minutes to even move. He was now sitting on his own bed, quietly listening to the other two trying to get Draco to talk to them. Draco was trying his hardest, but he couldn’t get the words out. He was starting to get worked up again, and tried to control his breathing like his mother taught him. It wasn’t working.</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe. You’re trying, and that’s good.” Harry was trying his best to calm him down, and thankfully, it was working. He was about to ask Draco to try again, when Pansy interjected. </p><p>“Draco, honey, if you can’t talk, use the smoke spell that we use in History of Magic.” Draco winced at the nickname “honey” but understood what she was saying. He picked up his wand and quickly wrote ‘Please don’t tell anyone about this.’ He looked worried. When he was assured that the matter wouldn’t be spoken of to anyone else, he started writing again. ‘I’m sorry, Pansy and Blaise. Really.” Pansy teared up a bit but hugged him, letting Draco know that it was okay. “It wasn’t your fault, you aren’t okay.” She whispered in his ear, so quietly that only Draco heard it. When she let go, he turned to harry. ‘Why did you help me? I’m your enemy. You should have wanted me dead.’ Harry saddened at this and said “I’m not your enemy, Draco. Not anymore. I’m sorry, I was an ass. I never wanted you dead. I couldn’t imagine not having your snarky remarks, you git.” Harry said that last bit with a smile, and Draco couldn’t help but chuckle at that.</p><p>Pansy started to speak, so Draco turned back to her. “Why?” was all she could choke out, like she didn’t want to ask. Draco started writing, and all three looked. ‘You all saw my arms. I was scared of how you’d react. It wasn’t any of you guys’ fault, that was just the final straw. There were…’ He paused, looking for the right words. He began again ‘other things. I didn’t want to be a bother to people anymore.’ There were tears starting to roll down his cheeks now. He turned back to Harry. ‘You never answered my question. Why did you help me? And how did you get the door open? It was locked.’ Harry looked him in the eyes and said “I helped you because… well, I felt bad. I was horrible to you. I heard you ask for help. You were just barely audible over the water. You sounded terrified. As for getting the door open, that was a spell called “Alohomora” that I learnt a while back from ‘Mione.” He was blushing now. Draco had a suspicion that he was hiding something, but he didn’t know what. He still had two questions for Harry, but only asked him one: ‘Will you tell your friends?’ His stomach was churning as he waited for the answer. Harry looked down. </p><p>“No. As much as I hate lying to them, your privacy is important. I’ll also tell them to never repeat anything about going to the carriages.” He looked up, hoping that he had calmed Draco’s nerves. He was being truthful, he wasn’t going to utter a word about Draco’s suicide attempt. </p><p>“It’s almost time for the feast to be over. Harry, you need to go, before the Slyhterins get back. I’m worried what they’ll do if they see you.” Pansy snapped everyone back to reality. Harry Potter, a Gryffindor, was in the Slytherin dorms. Harry smiled and pulled something out of his pocket. I was a blanket, simple enough. This confused Draco, until Harry threw it over himself, and he was gone. This shocked the three Slytherins, and as he threw off the blanket, he laughed. ‘What the fuck was that’ Draco wrote quickly, still stunned as to what just happened.</p><p>“It’s an invisibility cloak. I can stay as long as I use this when I leave.” Harry is still chuckling, which irritates Draco a bit, but he doesn’t say anything. He didn’t stay much longer, much to Draco’s disappointment. Even though he was supposed to be his enemy, Draco liked his company. He always had, and liked their small bickering throughout the years. Draco waved him goodbye, and Harry threw his invisibility cloak on, Pansy escorting him out, pretending she was going for a walk. Draco thought that this was a pretty smart plan, but he was shaken from his thoughts when Blaise spoke. </p><p>“What were you thinking mate?! If Harry hadn’t thought to check the dorms, you could have died!” He yelled this, causing Draco to flinch, and his hands to start trembling. He never liked when people yelled at him, it reminded him of his father. He felt his stomach churning, and his heart pounding. Blaise didn’t notice, and just kept yelling. Draco wasn’t listening anymore. He was trembling all over, and he couldn’t stop. Flashbacks were coming and going so quickly that he couldn’t process them until another flashback took its place. Tears started flowing down his face, and he rose his wand and wrote ‘I’m sorry’ quickly, which got his attention. He stopped his rant and looked at his friend. He had caused him to freeze up, and now he was trembling. He was also crying. He realized that Draco wasn’t listening anymore, which angered him more. He had been drinking during the speeches, and always had a temper when he was drunk. He started yelling again, causing Draco to clutch his arms with his hands. He threw his arms up during his rant, causing Draco to flinch violently and fall off the bed. </p><p>He didn’t get up. Blaise gave up, and sat on his bed, grabbing another bottle of firewhisky, chugging it. As he was drinking the last of his bottle, Pansy entered the room, freezing as she surveyed the scene. Draco was shaking on the floor, curled up on the floor crying. Blaise had a bottle of firewhisky in his hand, but it was empty. She glared at Blaise, and went to help Draco. “What happened?” she asked him, worry overcoming the anger she had towards Blaise. Draco slowly picked up his wand and started to write.</p><p>‘Blaise. Yelling. Panic. Make it stop.’ He wrote each of these slowly, making Pansy even more worried with the last three words. “Make what stop? Draco?’</p><p>‘The panic. It’s overwhelming.” She knew exactly what to do. She had seen first-years like this before. They were terrified of their parent’s reaction to their house. She instructed him to breathe, muttering encouragements like “It’s okay. He’s asleep.” and “Nothing can hurt you right now. You’re safe.” This was slowly working, and eventually, the shaking slowed to a stop, the tears were gone. He sat up. He quickly wrote that he was going to bed, and Pansy grabbed Blaise and left. </p><p>Draco pulled the covers over his head, and, after making sure Blaise was gone, sobbed. The memories of his father dancing on his eyelids. He didn’t stop crying until he was asleep.</p><p>He never heard Blaise come back in that night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Summary for people who skipped the chapter: Draco answers some questions, and gets answers for his. Blaise isn't kind to him after what he attempted to do, causing him to have a panic attack.</p><p>I started making the chapters longer because I didn't want this to be 500 chapters long. I also wrote a panic attack as best as I could. I have only ever had mild anxiety attacks.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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